From my blog today:

The Rise of the Heartland Republic



October 11, 2008 by xenohistorian



This week, I heard that Berkeley Breathed, author of the comic strip Opus, is retiring from comics next month, to write children’s books. It won’t be the first time he pulled a strip; he got tired of drawing Bloom County in the 1980s, and Outland in the 1990s, only to launch a new strip because characters like Opus and Bill the Cat were too popular to ride off into the sunset. This time Breathed’s excuse is the polarization of America. As he put it, “With the crisis in Wall Street and Washington, I’m suspending my comic strip to assist the nation….The best way I can help is to leave politics permanently and write funny stories for America’s kids.”

This reminds me of what happened to Pogo, my mother’s favorite comic strip. From 1948 to 1975, Pogo graced newspapers and books with its clever drawings of Pogo Possum and his friends from the Okefenokee Swamp. Mom liked Pogo for its cute animals, but the strip is now mainly known for its lighthearted political humor. Pogo’s creator, Walt Kelly, died in 1973, and his widow stopped working on the strip two years later.

That was that, until two other cartoonists made an unsuccessful attempt to resurrect Pogo in 1990. The good news was that the new Pogo looked exactly like the old one. Unfortunately, the bad news was that the new Pogo looked exactly like the old one, too. Pogo’s second incarnation only lasted for a few months because the readers’ sense of humor had changed with the times. I never thought I would see that happen with Opus, but now it looks like it has.

Judging from what I’m hearing on the grapevine about this election, we’re losing our sense of humor, to the point that next month’s election could be messy, no matter who wins. Polarization has come to mean more than just the “Red State, Blue State” business we’ve been hearing for the past few years; unless one candidate wins by a landslide, there will be charges of fraud at the polls. Obama supporters are predicting race riots should Obama lose, and yesterday on the radio I heard a caller saying that business at a gun shop near him is brisk; a lot of folks are buying guns and ammunition, before Obama gets elected and does away with the Second Amendment.

Along that line, here’s a half-serious prediction of what will happen to North America over the next seven years, should Obama win. It was posted on Free Dominion, a conservative Canadian forum; that explains the joke about the Canadian jeep at Moose Jaw, and how four western provinces are relieved when Vancouver, western Canada’s most liberal city, refuses to join them in the secession movement. Since 2006 I have written four North American history papers for The Xenophile Historian, could a future paper sound like this?

Obama wins — Heartland Republic secedes
____________________________________________________
What could happen following November 4th

November 5th, 2008. Democrats are still partying across America after their decisive electoral college win. John McCain, disoriented and trying to fight back tears, tells Wolf Blitzer in an interview, “I hope for calm in our great country, but the future is very unpredictable now.” Vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin returns to Alaska saying “the American way of life depends on freedom and not on big government.”

During late November and December, rumours begin to surface that transition meetings between the Bush administration and the Obama inner circle are breaking down into the same acrimony that now grips the Congress, newly dominated by liberal Democrats. A leading conservative Republican congressman from Texas is reported to have said at a luncheon, “Obama has thirty days to prove he isn’t a commie. If that doesn’t happen, all bets are off.”

January 20, 2009. President Obama gives a rousing inaugural address in which he says “every effort will be made to raise up the poor, to remove the stain of racial inequality from our national life, and to make American towns and cities safe again by addressing the problem of too many guns in the wrong hands.” Former president Bush breaks with tradition and fails to attend the event, citing a heavy chest cold.

March, 2009. A meeting of legislators and state governors from a variety of central states, held at a remote casino resort in northern California, together with John McCain and Sarah Palin, is closed to reporters. Rumours begin to circulate that a secessionist movement is being discussed. President Obama states that “all necessary force” will be used to maintain “social peace” and “keep the Union strong.” Governor Schwarzenegger tells reporters that he was invited to attend, but that he “respects the new president and his commitment to alternative energy development.” However, he adds, “the growing demands for a second official language in my state and in Arizona and New Mexico could lead to other strains on the fabric of American society if not addressed creatively.”

April, 2009. With the economic recession verging on depression, and the National Guard in the streets in various large cities across the nation, the Governor of Oklahoma announces that “plans are underway for a referendum in twenty-seven states, aimed at establishing the Heartland Republic of America, with its capital to be located here in Oklahoma City.” He refuses to answer any further questions from reporters, but fires out the information that “President Obama should not assume that he has full control of the military in these states.”

June, 2009. The referendum date is set for July 4th. All the states west of the Mississippi except Hawaii are included in the referendum by order of their state governors. Wisconsin, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and South Carolina announce that they will allow participation. Rioting breaks out in Peoria, Indianaoplis, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Detroit, and Charleston WV, and the U.S. army is mobilized in North Carolina and Virginia to quell expected clashes between “patriot militia” and “Heartland heroes” along mostly racial lines.

July 4, 2009. With heavy fighting raging around a number of mid-western cities, and the state national guards co-operating with elements of the national armed forces to keep a lid on potential riots in Los Angeles, Houston and Atlanta, a total of thirty-three states now sanction referendum sites and a large turnout of voters appear to cast their ballots. The results, announced at midnight, show that 78% of the votes cast endorse the Heartland Republic. A committee of high-ranking U.S. military leaders appears on CNN to verify that they have declared control of many elements of the U.S. armed forces and the NORAD headquarters in Colorado, and they warn President Obama not to interfere in their reorganization of the U.S. military.

July 5, 2009. Sarah Palin gives a speech in Oklahoma City declaring the Heartland Republic independent, and under martial law, with herself as the first president and a committee of forty “leading elected officials” to form a constitutional committee, while the Heartland Armed Forces will establish peace and security within the borders of the thirty-three states. Fighting rages across northern Illinois after the results of the referendum show that 90% of Windy City residents want to stay in the United States while 64% of the rest of Illinois had voted for secession, a result that left the results virtually deadlocked state-wide. Roving gangs of secessionists in pick-ups and SUVs maintained no-go zones outside Chicago for all but approved refugees from the city.

July 12, 2009. Most elements of the U.S. armed forces in Iraq begin to display Heartland colours, the red white and green crest with the prominent snow-capped mountain and shining star. One or two skirmishes are reported in Afghanistan between units loyal to the U.S.A. and the Heartland.

July 14, 2009. Prime Minister Harper announces recognition of the Heartland Republic. Riots break out in Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa and Halifax, calling for the governor general to dissolve the government. Liberal leader Ignatieff calls Harper “a dangerous ideologue who would further divide North America” and somewhat on cue, mass demonstrations of support for the Heartland break out in Alberta and some other parts of western Canada.

July 31, 2009. The constitution of the Heartland Republic is declared with an election set for the first Tuesday in November, and “every five years thereafter,” to which Vice-President Cheney says, “this will give the two parties, the Freedom Party and the Liberty Party, ample opportunity to sort out their minor differences. Perhaps in time we will be able to lift the state of martial law and release the prisoners being held in Durango.”

August, 2009. The Canadian government falls, and the Conservatives announce that they will run on a platform of western secession so that the four western provinces can join the Heartland Republic. The Mexican army, massing on the frontiers near Mexicali, are dispersed by tactical nuclear strikes and southern California is placed under extreme martial law. Illegal aliens are rounded up and deported en masse with a strong contingent of the newly formed Heartland Security Force in place to prevent their return.

September, 2009. Following a vote that divides Canada into strong eastern and western voting blocs, the four western provinces, the Yukon and the NWT join the Heartland Republic, as does Michigan following severe unrest across the state. A local militia seals off Detroit and is supplied from the Ontario side of the border. The Canadian armed forces attempt to keep the four western provinces from establishing de facto independence, but elements of the Heartland Republic security forces pour in and find widespread
support among the people. The Canadian armed forces jeep breaks down outside Moose Jaw, ending all resistance. Vancouver declares that it will stay in Canada, and the four western premiers breathe a big sigh of relief.

2014 — President Obama, in his second term, seeks political asylum in Cuba, and the remaining states of the union send a delegation to Oklahoma City to seek inclusion into the Heartland Republic. They are told to come back in twenty years. The Omaha Jets win the Super Bowl. The Oklahoma City Red Sox win the World Series.

2015 — President Romney welcomes world leaders at the United Nations in Salt Lake City.

Source: http://www.freedominion.com.pa/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=105542